inquest! (from 'guantanamo' the musical)

Colonel Moe Davis:
Mr. David Hicks,
It is with the conviction of moral superiority
And contempt for the principles of democracy
That we welcome you here today.
So relax, approach the bench
And allow us to present
Your trial by military commission:

Be our guest! Be our guest!
Put our charges to the test!
Get in line, we’ll make it fine,
We don’t need any due process!

Think it’s more than you deserve?
Too bad, we only live to serve!
No conventions or regulations
Just sleep and sensory deprivation!

Seem innocent? We won’t recant!
After all, this isn’t France-
It’s the system
Every court has second guessed!
So let us chain your feet up
Or you might get beat up!
Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest!

Don’t appeal, take the deal!
We think our evidence looks real.
Like a trial? Wait a while
For your rights to be defiled:

We’ll tell lies! We’ll pull tricks!
‘Cause it’s not law, it’s politics!
Fairness isn’t mandatory
As long as we can sell our story:

He’s dangerous and guilty
Of giving aid to the enemy
And he'd corroborate
As much under duress!

Don’t think we lack perspective
Just cause the charges are retrospective
Be our guest! (If you don’t confess
We’ll subject you to psychological stress!)
So be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest!

Phillip Ruddock:
Jurisdiction's complicated
In a state that’s been unstated
It’s not the same if you don’t have someone to blame.
Your government doesn’t want to be useful,
We’d rather you’d just take abuse, who’ll
Be our scapegoat if you refuse to play the game?

A whole five years we’ve all been waiting!
And, why yes, it’s irritating
Since your showtrial's been so long set out.
For a guilty verdict, I’ve been busting
(Although my Amnesty badge is rusting)
It would serve my career without a doubt.

Kevin Rudd:
It’s a guess, it’s a guess
But I’ll defend David if I’m pressed.
Maybe a helping hand to a suffering man
Will boost my electoral prospects!
Habeus corpus, or fair go
Seems to play well. Whaddayaknow?
Being angry and complaining
Works just as well as web campaigning!

I’ll try indignation! I’ll try rage!
Even a show trial has a stage:
And my platform of compassion might impress!
If in the end he’s guilty
I'll just blame Howard government policy
It’s a guess, it’s a guess, and I think it’s best!

Military judiciary:
Be our guest, be our guest!
And never mind the prejudice !
It’s been years since we’ve had anybody here
And we’re obsessed!
With your guilt, your punishment
We won’t stop at solitary confinement!
With the terrorists still after us
No one will mind a miscarriage of justice!

Charge by charge -or just the one-
Til you confess and then we’re done!
You'll be locked up in the manner we suggest!
We would have preferred execution
But we'll play at prosecution!
So be our guest! Be our guest! Please be our guest!